Does the thought of having a friend watch you turn your Mac on make YOU squeamish ?
Do YOU worry that they'll laugh at your paltry collection of INITS ?
Do YOU envy those "Power Users" who manage to get 47 INITs running at the same time, and STILL have a functional Mac ?
If so, then "Manly Mac" is the thing for YOU !!!!!
With one simple (and harmless) extension, YOU can have the feeling of running TEN POWERFUL INITs, and still not worry about potential SYSTEM CONFLICTS ! With "Manly Mac", YOU get all the "look and feel" of being a "Power User"; But with none of those hideous crashes into an alien space somewhere in the land before time forgot !
Too Good to be true ? -Not at all ! The secret is: None of the "INITs" in Manly Mac do anything at all ! They don't permanently gobble any System memory. They don't patch any System traps ! They Don't do anything but show up when you start your machine. It's the perfect amalgamation of form WITHOUT function !
What they do do is LOOK IMPRESSIVE ! Here's a short description of the functionality of the real, and nonexistent, INITs:
"68080 alpha" is, of course, the patch code that Motorola supplies to alpha testers of its' new (and still VERY secret) CPU. Since some quirk of fate put YOU on the mailing list for this next generation product, you decided to pry out the old 68040, and give it a try....
"Q Mac" is either the patches to the patches in "68080 alpha", or the driver for YOUR 80 MHz accelerator board.
"Testosterone" (yes that IS the correct chemical structure) makes your Mac more Manly by CRASHING HORRIBLY at random intervals. It thus promotes a MORE MANLY attitude towards life on the part of its users.
"Psychedelia" is a "Fractal Calculation Accelerator". With this installed, those Mandelbrodt images, that once took HOURS to generate, can be completed in Seconds !
"Twenty Meg", lets YOU use the new "vertical magnetization" disk formatting techniques ! It allows YOU to store up to 20 Megabytes of data on a standard 800K floppy.
"Wimmyn", "politically corrects" all YOUR documents by randomly replacing all references to He, Him etc. with She, Her etc (and vice versa). (Note, this one's still a bit buggy, the occasional "chairperdaughtson" still slips through.)
"MacRotate" encourages bilateral (i.e. leftbrain/rightbrain) thinking by occasionally turning the screen upside down. The perspective gained by these changes in perspective can be a real aid in "brainstorming" situations.
"No Demons" simply keeps the forces of SATAN at bay. Strangely, there has never been a documented conflict between this and the "Testosterone" INIT.
"Cosmos" functions by directly controlling the sweep magnets of YOUR Macs monitor; thus maximizing the alignment between YOUR Mac and the NATURAL magnetic field lines of the planet. The resulting reduction in "low intensity electromagnetic fields" is good; Both for YOU, and your Mac. [NOTICE ! This INIT is optimized for the planet GAEA. Use on other planets MAY BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH ! ]
"MacPress" enables the (undocumented) "super resolution mode" for ImagewriterII printers. When installed it allows an effective resolution of 1200 DPI for YOUR Imagewriter. Unfortunately, Adobe saw fit to release this INIT in a form that was ONLY compatible with Photoshop version 2.7.1.03ß.
Disclaimer:
All the descriptions given for these INITs are B.S. None of them do anything at all. I wrote this thing because I was bored with debugging my new version of "Sav-O-Matic" (a useful automatic file saving INIT), and because I couldn't help laughing at the travails of a guy I know who tries to keep two full rows of INITs running on his Mac.
ETC:
To use this wonderful product, simply drag "ManlyMac" into your System Folder.
"Manly Mac" is free to anyone who wants it. No guarantees of suitability, or functionality are given. If you pay for it, YOU'VE paid too much. If YOU have any interesting stories about employing "Manly Mac", wish to send me cash!!!!???, or for any other reason wish to contact me, my address is B. Partridge 1209 S. 25th St. Lincoln, NE 68502. I can also be reached on Genie and Compuserve. If you like "Manly Mac", give "UggyMenus" a try. If you like USEFUL things, try "Sav-O-Matic" or "SayIt". All can be found spread throughout the regions of Cyberspace. -April 1993
